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Message |
Reggie
Regular Guest
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 Posted 05-14-03 02:43 PM   
Hello, everyone. Mrs. Tiffany will not give you much practical information, and I am sorry about that. Even though this is her board -- heck, especially since this is her board -- she's not going to give you much notice or respect as to what goes on here & how to use this board. I have asked our resident journalist sock monkey, Benny Hathaway, to interview her regarding the rules of the message board. The interview will be posted below.
Please be patient -- this will all make sense eventually.
[Edited by Reggie]
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I really try to take care of these guys, but it's not easy.
Posts: 154 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Mrs. Tiffany
I run the board!
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Posted 05-14-03 04:33 PM
Dear Message Board:
Reggie, you promised you wouldn't bother us! Go away!
[Edited by Mrs. Tiffany]
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Dear Message Board -- Everybody drives me crazy!
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Emily
Long Time Resident
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Posted 05-14-03 04:36 PM
Mrs. Tiffany, why do you always yell at Reggie? Reggie is not so bad. You should be nicer. I have spoken.
[Edited by Emily]
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I am the number one monkey and I do what I want.
Posts: 313 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Mrs. Tiffany
I run the board!
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Posted 05-14-03 04:38 PM
Dear Message Board:
You may be the number one monkey at the Red Heel, but I am the number one monkey on my message board! I will say what I want when I want and to who I want and you can suck one of my pom poms!
[Edited by Mrs. Tiffany]
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Dear Message Board -- Everybody drives me crazy!
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Emily
Long Time Resident
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Posted 05-14-03 04:39 PM
Mrs. Tiffany, you are crazy. You are asking yourself for a world of hurt.
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I am the number one monkey and I do what I want.
Posts: 313 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Reggie
Regular Guest
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Posted 05-14-03 04:57 PM
Thanks, Emily.
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I really try to take care of these guys, but it's not easy.
Posts: 154 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Mrs. Tiffany
I run the board!
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Posted 05-14-03 05:29 PM
Dear Message Board:
Poor poor Reject! Dizoo favorite monkey have to come to your defense? HA! Tell her to clean up your kitchen messes!
[Edited by Mrs. Tiffany]
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Dear Message Board -- Everybody drives me crazy!
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Benny Hathaway
Permanent Resident
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Posted 05-14-03 05:48 PM
Hello, everyone! I'm Benny Hathaway. I run the Monkey Ape Vine Newspaper at the Red Heel Monkey Shelter. I am also responsible for Monkey Census and the Monkey Peanut Gallery, which is a non-profit art show I produce to encourage the inhabitants of the Red Heel to express themselves. Reggie, who is one of our keepers, asked me to interview Mrs. Tiffany about what her expectations at the Red Heel Message Board might be.
So I interviewed her. It wasn't easy. Mrs. Tiffany has a rotten attention span. And she drinks. She wasn't particularly drunk when we were doing this interview, but she wasn't particularly sober, either.
Anyway:
Benny: Hello, Mrs. Tiffany. I understand you are going to run a sock monkey message board. Why don't you tell us a little something about yourself?
Mrs. Tiffany: Hello! I am Mrs. Tiffany! Ordinarily I sit in the kitchen and look out of the window, singing songs by the Beach Boys and laughing at foolish things that Reject and Her Majesty, do while they are washing dishes or preparing meals! But this leaves me with a lot of down time, and quite frankly, with too much downtime, I occasionally get into the cooking wine!
Benny Hathaway: Why did you decide to start a monkey message board?
Mrs. Tiffany: My doctor has recommended I find something else to do rather than just sitting around drinking, so I have started my very own sock monkey message board! I like this message board because it gives me an opportunity to vent my frustrations about the oppressive peoples who boss us around here at the Red Heel Monkey House, and to complain about other uppity monkeys who think they’re so cool around here!
Benny Hathaway: Who can post on this message board?
Mrs. Tiffany: If there are any other sock monkeys out there who want to talk to me, I would welcome your company! I would also welcome the words of any peoples out there who are more sympathetic to my plights and problems than the peoples I have to suffer under at the Red Heel! They drive me crazy.
Benny Hathaway: One problem I see with this is that most monkeys can't read or write. How do you propose to solve this delimma?
Mrs. Tiffany: I made Reject get one of those fancy text translator communicators, so I can talk to you all and I don’t actually have to read or learn how to spell! Reggie bought it for me on the condition that I let other monkeys use it as well, so I guess you will unfortunately be hearing from other monkeys besides myself from the Red Heel!
Benny: Are there any other posting guidelines you can tell us about?
Tiffany: Although I abhor this sort of thing, Reggie has asked that I list a few guidelines for the message board so that we can all operate under the same rules and assumptions and have as much fun together as possible! So, with that a-do-do out of the way, we can get on with our lives on the board!
1. You do not have to be a sock monkey to post on “Dear Message Board”. However, you have to understand that the bulk of the posters on “Dear Message Board” are sock monkeys. This is a simple fact. Do not challenge our existence. We are here. We are real. Get used to it! Posts complaining that “this is stupid” or “you are all crazy” - will be flamed for being entirely too obvious. In addition - most message boards ask that you stay on topic. The topic here is whatever the sock monkeys are talking about at the time. This is a sock monkey message board, and all the commentary should be directed towards and about the characters who roam this board. This is not a personal chat area for anyone but the Red Heel Monkeys.
2. If you are a sock monkey, please post your picture on in the avatar section of the message board so that everyone can see how beautiful you are! It is very easy to give yourself an avatar, and it adds a great deal to the fun! If you need help, please contact Whyzzy-wygg, our resident tech monkey.
3. Some of the sock monkeys who will post here are very sensitive creatures, and our feelings are hurt by hostile language, or “fowl” language. Do not flip us the bird! Remember, we are animals whose sole purpose in this world is to amuse and delight the young and the young at heart. Although this is not strictly speaking a kid’s board, we should treat it as if it is! You don’t need to dumb it down or use “simple” words, but please try to keep it clean! If you want use “rock and roll” words, please go over to Dr. Filth’s Message Board. They are much thicker skinned hoodlums over there! That goes double for you, Xantham Gumm!
4. Sock monkeys have few opinions about world affairs or issues of extreme national import! We don’t want to hear about it! We like to talk about ourselves and our petty problems! Keep politics out of posting!
5. If you a peoples under the age of, say, 16 or so and you want to post on the Red Heel Message Board, welcome! But please make sure you let your parents know what you are up to! Show them the Red Heel Message Board and the Red Heel website (show them all of Whizzkid1 especially if your dad is a record collector or your mom and dad like T-shirts!) Make sure that they think this is a good, or at least not entirely wasteful, use of your time! Thank you! Parents, if you want to post on the Red Heel Message Board, make sure to talk to your children and make sure it is all right! Show them the message board and the Red Heel website, especially if your children like t-shirts or records! Make sure that they think this is a good, or at least not entirely wasteful, use of your time! Thank you!
6. The principal Sock Monkey Characters, their characteristics and mannerisms, who appear on this site and on the Love Monkeys section of www.whizzkid1.com. com are owned and are ©2003 whizzkid1.com. All other sock monkey characters are the property of their respective hosts and captors.
7. There is no need to post a lot at the Red Heel. The Red Heel is, overall, an exercise in creative writing for its various and sundry members, and creativity requires time and concentration in addition to spontaniety. If you are only going to post - "Oh yeah!" or "Right on" or "I agree with that" you don't need to bother. It's unnecessary. Also, check over at the Red Heel website before asking questions, maybe an issue of the monkey ape vine can help you. Just take time and think before you post, it will increase the quality of reading experience for everyone who comes to read the board. Not everyone who reads the Red Heel posts. It is a reading board as much as it is a posting board. Keep that in mind.
______________________
Thanks to Mrs. Tiffany for taking time out from her drinking to clarify these issues. We now return you to your regularly scheduled message board.
[Edited by Benny Hathaway]
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To Subscribe to the Monkey Ape Vine, write me at:
bennyhathaway@whizzkid1.com
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Emily
Long Time Resident
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Posted 05-15-03 11:21 AM
Benny, that was so boring I almost fell asleep.
I don't like that guy's voice. You should reprogram it to sound cooler.
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I am the number one monkey and I do what I want.
Posts: 313 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Benny Hathaway
Permanent Resident
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Posted 05-15-03 11:21 AM
Guidelines are always boring, Emily.
But I'll try to keep it lighter in the future.
I'm trying to be more spontaneous.
Benny!
(I added that exclamation mark later to try to be more spontaneous. Is it more spontaneous when you do it as an afterthought?)
[Edited by Benny Hathaway]
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To Subscribe to the Monkey Ape Vine, write me at:
bennyhathaway@whizzkid1.com
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
purplemonster234
Regular Guest
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Posted 07-20-03 02:23 PM
I don't say bad words! i'm a good little monster!
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Just because I'm a monster, doesn't mean you should be afraid of me. After all, I am nice.
Posts: 179 | Registered: Jul 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Hoobajoob
Welcome to the Red Heel!
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Posted 10-13-03 04:56 PM
hhh . . .. hhhh . . . .hhhh
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SCREEAAAREEAAREEEE!
Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Hoobajoob
Welcome to the Red Heel!
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Posted 10-31-03 04:08 PM
hh . . .hh . .. hh.
[Edited by Hoobajoob]
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SCREEAAAREEAAREEEE!
Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Mrs. Tiffany
I run the board!
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Posted 12-03-03 03:20 PM
Dear Message Board:
I am sick of that picture of the Hoobajoob!
We did away with him!
And I am glad!
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Dear Message Board -- Everybody drives me crazy!
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Lil Dinah
Long Time Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 03:21 PM
Ah agree!
Ah hope that Hoobajoob is in Hell-o!
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Go to hell-o!
Posts: 346 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Emily
Long Time Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 03:21 PM
Yeah, whatever. I never was too impressed with the Hoobajoob anyway. He was pretty stupid. And Pumpkin beat him up with a minimum trouble.
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I am the number one monkey and I do what I want.
Posts: 313 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Silly Sally
Occasional Visitor
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Posted 12-03-03 03:22 PM
IT'S BEST NOT TO SAY THEIR NAMES OR WE MIGHT ATTRACT MORE!
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Stay away from the hoob-a-joob! He's CRAZY!
Posts: 78 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Reggie
Regular Guest
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Posted 12-03-03 03:22 PM
Why are you guys talking about the Hoobajoob?
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I really try to take care of these guys, but it's not easy.
Posts: 154 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Benny Hathaway
Permanent Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 03:23 PM
Mrs. Tiffany was sick of seeing his name on the Board Screen.
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To Subscribe to the Monkey Ape Vine, write me at:
bennyhathaway@whizzkid1.com
Posts: 566 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Mama Roux
Long Time Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 03:23 PM
Can't say I blame her, either!
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Mama predicts: Some things will get better, some things will get worse, and some things will stay the same, child.
Posts: 322 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Question Monk!
New Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 03:24 PM
Hoobajoob be stinkin'!
It don't be rockin'!
Annybody seen my CARD yet?
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Question Monk, babay! Yeah!
Posts: 201 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Hummingbird Wilson
Occasional Visitor
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Posted 12-03-03 03:25 PM
Hoobajoob schmoobajoob! I want to know what happened to that Baby Jane!
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Don't forget to leave me a tip!
Posts: 51 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Stella & June
Regular Guest
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Posted 12-03-03 04:06 PM
We are safe on our shelf!
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We never get any credit!
Posts: 125 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Pierre Mon Frere
New Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 04:06 PM
Trouble Man, he is me! Marvin Gaye, he sing about Pierre!
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If I do not go making the trouble, how will it be there when you go looking for eet, non?
Posts: 250 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Bojangle Duke
Welcome to the Red Heel!
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Posted 12-03-03 04:07 PM
You know, they say the economy is improving!
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Ah reckon ah own purty much all'n the Red Heel!
Posts: 40 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Happy George
Long Time Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 04:08 PM
Money in the bank!
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Hey, everybody! It's me! Happy George!
Posts: 318 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Willajean
Regular Guest
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Posted 12-03-03 04:08 PM
Barney's Still Unemployed!
Have you seen my card?
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The secret to a good marraige is knowin' when to use the whip!
Posts: 130 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Aunt Lovey
Occasional Visitor
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Posted 12-03-03 04:09 PM
Hey, samantha brown!
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Don't pour coffee on me!
Posts: 50 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Samantha Brown
Long Time Resident
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Posted 12-03-03 04:10 PM
Nope. I am not going to fall for it 315 times.
I won't pour coffee on you!
OK?
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I'm gonna win!
Posts: 462 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
Everly
Welcome to the Red Heel!
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Posted 12-03-03 04:10 PM
DIE!
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Hey! You! Yeah! You! DIE!
Posts: 46 | Registered: May 2003 | Profile | PM | IP Logged |
